The space between doubt and belief is often unpopular, but the tension can be held. You could do worse than to live by that one. I said, No, I just want to go back to Vietnam and do what I was doing. Corrigan and her guests dig into such questions as "Is knowing more always . It just came out whole, and of course, to me its the most important and moving chapter in the book for sure. She's an author. Kindly, So now if a family member is being difficult or misbehaving, we have established ground rules, So and so is family and we dont sell family! I was healthy, and then I was sick, and now Im feeling pretty good, and even though the language around immunotherapy isnt perfect, I can happily say that I am in remission. Were just a series of days and interactions. It just ends the tension because what youre saying is, I see it how you see it, and I agree with you. And Ive talked to a couple of my girlfriends whove gotten divorced, and they say the exact same thing happens to them. Im sorry to ask about the hard part, but would you mind telling me what happened? Kate Bowler:Wow, and thats a big word. I really appreciate it. I was wrong not to try to ease her days in some way.. Kate Bowler:You and I are super chatty people, but you make an amazing pitch for silence, and I am all for it, because everyone always had these go-to things to say with me like, You can do it, or Youre so brave, and all the things that made me feel like I was on the other side of plexiglass. Kelly Corrigan:I mean, thats where it is. Kate Bowler:You are someone who has gotten mixed up in all kinds of things, and I am so glad to know you. Writer Kelly Corrigan urges 2021 grads to choose curiosity over judgment Writer Kelly Corrigan is a bestselling memoirist. Kelly Corrigan:So, my dad died in February, and then my friend Liz, whos the mother of three kids, 8, 10, and 12 at the time, died that December. And the potted plant theory, I cant credit it to someone, Im sorry, I dont know who put it out there, but the idea is that if you were to have a plant in your kitchen, you might not be aware of it at all, and then if someone were to remove it, youd say What happened to that plant?. I just want to show up and try to be of use. Then cancer hit. Kate Bowler:Yeah, I believe you. Kate Bowler:You put in a strong argument, if I may say it like that, for just being close to one another. Kate Bowler:I dont think Ill like it, but I will think of you when I do it. Take care, I think part of why your book is so moving is the way that these sayings crystallize these really big truths about who we are, and also how we should love each other. A former newspaper columnist and four time bestselling . Tell Me More with Kelly Corrigan | Michael Lewis | Season 5 | Episode 1 Being a runner, this has always been meaningful for me. Just do your best. Surely, my friend, my lost and lovely friend, called for new words. Leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It doesnt end, and also you cant live there. She plans to give it to her daughter, who graduates from high school in June.. Labels like chronic illness, or caregiver, or widow, or mom of a kid with special needs. Kelly Corrigan:And it wasnt my turn for his attention. It just came out whole, and of course, to me its the most important and moving chapter in the book for sure. Corrigan, a New York Times bestselling author, gives her Brief But Spectacular take on the power of words. I mean, its a little bit like, Just keep saying yes. You know, When in doubt, say Sure, Ill do that, just to see what happens next, just to see who you might meet. And you know, it was so weird, but dying was the easier part of it. Shes not going to their wedding, shes not going to pick out wedding dresses with them. But I asked the doctor what the right term for me might be, and he said Survivor-in-progress, which was super annoying. Make the magic happen. Corrigan and her guests meander with insight and humor toward that inevitable moment when you think, "Exactly!" The Best Show with Tom Scharpling a day ago Exactly Archives | KQED News Kelly Corrigan Wonders podcast - Listen online for free Maybe you want to borrow one of Kellys like, Its like this, but youre totally welcome to borrow my familys motto: Dont let the turkeys get you down. Its tried and true. A phrase that I heard at a recent Pecha Kucha talk from a woman who had come through a terrible health crisis was Its like this now. As Teri said, He didnt have a drug problem, he had a life problem. Like the other day when I was being wheeled into a procedure, the nurse looked at my chart, and then casually said, Colon cancer. Kelly Corrigan:I mean, unless youre a monk, and youre meditating for 60 days in a mountain somewhere. Kelly Corrigan:So, I had to wait, and then finally we had a window, and I said, I was wrong. Embed. I dont know, but a whole new world of possibilities exist right now that did not exist an hour and 10 minutes ago, and I think that is so cool, and real, and exciting. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. She reflects on her love and loss through ordinary moments and everyday sayings. Jewel and Kelly Corrigan have a conversation in NYC. Thank You for all you do!! Okay, but Im just telling you those kids are waking up every day without her, and theyre going to keep being without her forever. Kelly Corrigan:I was perhaps proud about it honestly, and I was reading 7 Habits of Highly Effective People at night with my big fat yellow highlighter, and I was really full of attachment to this identity that I had painted for myself. Welcome to Kelly Corrigan Wonders, a place for people who like to laugh while they think and find it useful to look closely at ourselves and our weird ways in the hopes that knowing more and feeling more will help us do more and be better. Team Everything Happens. Ryland shined brightly - especially in the darkest places. Kelly Corrigan:But you know, if Im jumping in with my fancy solution two and a half minutes in, I just cut you off, and then we leave each other, and I have this little high like, Ah, I just really helped her, and she walks away thinking, She didnt hear anything I said. Ten days before I was scheduled to defend my dissertation, English Policies, Curricular Reform and Teacher Development in Multilingual, Post-colonial Djibouti, I got the call. I guess everybody here, these children of mine and my husband, are just too damn busy to get on this, but Im not, so Ill do it, and then I was finishing, and I found a little pile of cut toenails on my kitchen table, and that. To learn more about Tell Me More: Stories about the 12 Things Im Learning to Say, click here. In other words, it could happen to you tomorrow.. Mahra:Ive been singing these lines from a song by the Avett Brothers to my kids for years, and it goes like this. You might actually give somebody a chance to discover whats really bothering them, and in that discovery they might find their own solution, but the fact is that if you can bite your stupid tongue, and get over yourself, and just keep eliciting their whole story, then the next thing you know, their mood is changing, and theyre feeling more solution-oriented, and then they get the buzz of solving the problem. Kelly Corrigan:Where you can feel the person kind of asking around, snooping just enough, and its not for your sake. Enjoy an intimate and heartfelt interview series hosted by author Kelly Corrigan.MoreMore. Kellys guest is actress and author Constance Wu - you may know her from her roles in the breakthrough tv show Fresh Off the Boat and the blockbuster film Crazy, Rich Asians. She died this morning, and I was just sick to my stomach. Hes just one of those people that you think, God, if I could get five minutes with him, Id just tell him my biggest problem, and hed just say something in seven words that would solve everything., Kelly Corrigan:So, eventually I went up to him, and I said, Im caught between these two worlds, this world where Im full of clarity and insight and gratitude, and Im seeing all the big colors of the world. Even the words left unsaid. I was wondering if you could tell me about that. Kelly Corrigan:Hearts dont idle. Kelly Corrigan:She cant wear half her clothes because she cant zip them by herself. Thats like total vanity but, especially with the kids, I definitely think, Edward and I both think, If you let us run this out for you, well get it done like one, two, three, and thats so humiliating, and degrading, and just the opposite of self-esteem building, which is sort of like the ground we walk on as adults. Such is a reminder that success is the result of joined efforts and that all of us are touched by the ripples of others contributions. Kate Bowler:Im Kate Bowler, and this is Everything Happens. Its remarkable to hear a bit of your story and Im really grateful that youve shared it with us. Kelly Corrigan:I didnt die. I love it that it gives up perfectionism, and it just says, Hey, whats possible today?. Onwards, but you use it so beautifully when youre talking about Lizs family and how they are now. Wondering if youve come across Bahai writings as I find them inspiring in building a circle of friends, a community and help each other grow together. What do we do when the labels were given arent necessarily the ones we choose for ourselves? She had ovarian cancer, so she had fought it for seven years, and it was the kind of thing where I felt like I urgently wanted to deserve my life. Maya Shankar and Kelly Corrigan in Lafayette, CA. Everything Happens : NPR My mom called me maybe three months after my dad died. So, God is generous was my dads way of promising us a better future. I mean so far, knock on wood, Im getting to see my kids be much, much older than she got to see her kids be. So, thats just the question in front of all of us. Yeah. Thanks For Being Here Mary Hope's Letter Introducing Alex. Kilpy Kelly Corrigan:Hey, thanks for having me. Dont misread this, my mother was a loving woman, but she passed on this legacy, this painful legacy shed been burdened with, that women should take up as little space as possible, risk as little as possible, and hide our lights lest we make fools of ourselves. But the fact is if I said, Tell me more, go on, what else, youd say the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing, and it would be like the thing behind the thing, behind the thing is where really the pain is, and if I had waited way longer, I wouldve been able to say, Oh, I understand.. Forever? Kelly Corrigan:They hate it. Kelly Corrigan:So, my husband worked at a startup in San Francisco, which is called Medium, and its a writing platform, and as a writer, I was welcome to come, and use their office space, and its everything you think a San Francisco startup is. Kelly Corrigan Wonders on RadioPublic Kelly Corrigan:Sure, my pleasure. Kelly also hosts her own podcast Kelly Corrigan Wonders, which she describes as a "place for people who like to laugh while they think." On the podcast, she tackles a different question every month in a series of weekly conversations with some of her favorite thinkers. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah, and theres forgiveness and acceptance kind of intertwined there that you know, youre going to forget. Kelly Corrigan:The magic of Tell me more is you start telling me what youre upset about, and I fall for the first thing you say, and I start solving for that. Im so sorry youre not going to like any of my answers. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. I was so mad that I shook the cage a bit, that hamster eating its sibling. My life doesnt exactly fit into neat categories anymore. Each episode ends with Kellys shortlist of takeaways, appropriate for refrigerator doors, bulletin boards and notes to your children. Thats where its at. The name is a lyric from . We read and appreciate every comment. I love you both so much and was tickled to hear you together. We had several hamsters in one cage, and they can be cannibalistic, and one morning a hamster was missing, and another hamster had a suspiciously large tummy. But first, we need you to sign in to PBS using one of the services below. Kate Bowler:Well, your book has such a wonderful collection of phrases around essays, stuff like Tell me more, and you write about incredible things people can say when theyre figuring out the road ahead. Kate Bowler:Well, I accept. Neal Brennan and Kelly Corrigan have a conversation in NYC. If you haven't heard of Father Greg Boyle, let us introduce you: a Jesuit priest who has a touch of Santa Claus in his affect, Greg Boyle has collaborated with thousands of former gang members to build thriving businesses and communities of radical acceptance in East LA. Oh, The People You'll Know!. Graduations, diminished though they may She's really just an overall great human being. Kelly Corrigan:I sat at my dining room table, which is place I never write, and I thought, Oh my God, of course I know exactly what this is. She was really, really into manners, and as kind of an act of gratitude, not in an uptight, British way, but as a Look at us eating a meal together, like, Nobody should eat before the last person gets down. Kate Bowler:Yeah. Ill definitely remember this motto and will probably end up using it, if you dont mind . You are in good company. Kelly Corrigan:So, I say at the end of this chapter, Shouldnt loss change a person for the better? When bestselling author Kelly Corrigan experienced the death of her dad and dear friend back-to-back, she couldnt shake the feeling that she wasnt living as gratefully as she wanted to. So Kelly, welcome. I love your book and your honesty as I keep questioning everything. PBS is a 501(c)(3) not-for-profit organization. Id say that there is definitely such a thing as a questioning Christian. Episode 3: How to Fall in Love with Anyone - Greater Good Team Everything Happens. Kelly Corrigan:You dont always need such a plan, or an agenda, or whatever. I was wrong. Lives dont last. Kelly shares a graduation speech, a conversation about takeaways from high school with her daughter and a special reading with Oscar winning actress Helen Hunt. Im so glad youve been plugging in and hope to keep hearing your feedback! Onward, my dears. So, todays conversation is about developing language to move us forward when life is well, chronic. Kelly Corrigan:Like, Oh, well we still have sex, so were definitely not going to get a divorce, or you know, Oh my husband doesnt travel, so then were definitely not gonna get a divorce, or you know, I never smoked cigarettes, so Im definitely not going to get breast cancer. Kelly Corrigan:Theres a thing Im aware of about eye contact between spouses, and you either make it, or you dont, and once youre aware that thats deeply meaningful, and that it has this kind of almost immeasurable, physiological effect on the other person, then you make an effort to look them in the eye, and that seems like such a small thing, but its actually definitional in terms of your relationship, in terms of whether its a good day, or a bad day, or a good interaction, or a bad interaction. She died this morning, and I was just sick to my stomach. I went to see her one time. Kate Bowler:Yeah. He shares what draws him to people, how he writes them into stories and how openness and vulnerability are key elements to finding a strong character. Team Everything Happens, Kate, Kelly Corrigan:She cant wear half her clothes because she cant zip them by herself. Many of you listen to Kelly Corrigan who WFS brought to Charlotte in October 2021. We are so glad that you joined us for this conversation and found it enjoyable. This interview is perfection. I was wondering if you could tell me about that. Theyre poking for that critical difference to hold on to, and I wanna hug em, and say, I know. Team Everything Happens. Whos going to do this? But first, we need you to sign in to PBS using one of the services below. Gratefully, You wrote this book in a season of incredible loss. I mean, people are getting colon cancer at your age all the time. I mean, maybe I was projecting, maybe whatever he said in that moment, maybe if he had said peanut butter, and jelly, wed be talking about peanut butter and jelly, but it totally resonated for me in the way that a song lyric does where youre like, I dont know what that means exactly, but Im going to write that down, and put it in my wallet, and its interesting. Surely, my friend, my lost and lovely friend, called for new words. We only book nice people who have a sense of humor and know things worth knowing. Kate, My son was, of course, distraught and felt the dog was a part of the family and worth the trouble. Best, Okay, great. Kelly Corrigan:Thats not a headline anybody wants to read. I absolutely love that phrase. Kelly Corrigan. Inspiring and thought-provoking interviews conducted by bestselling author Kelly Corrigan. It doesnt end, and also you cant live there. Kelly Corrigan:And so I didnt do it. That kind of belonging is transcendent, and you just feel it pop up in these little moments. Im Kate Bowler, and this is Everything Happens. One day I just snapped and threatened to sell the dog. I mean, that was my big experience of your book. Team Everything Happens, Kate, -Kilpy Thats where its at. The reach of language can be laughable.. I absolutely love that phrase. Kelly Corrigan:Like, almost every time Im sure that if you just let me take over, I can make this problem go away. Michael Lewis sends his thanks to Dr. Arthur White, a former history teacher at Isidore Newman School in New Orleans, Louisiana, for kicking him in class whenever hed fall asleep. I think people think that if you have a diagnosis, or somethings happened to you that you should know because youre proof of it. Michael Lewis and Kelly Corrigan in Lafayette, CA. Michael Murray on the Social Science of Faith Kelly Corrigan Wonders. They hate it. Follow Kelly on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. We were living in Damascus, Syria, and whenever one of us asked for something Mom and Dad couldnt afford, Dad would say Allah Kareem. In Arabic, Allah means God. Nobody who is between identities they can tolerate does, it seems to me something Ive actively struggled with and expect to go hand to hand with again, whether tomorrow or the day after. This is me writing a letter to Liz, and I wrote the whole thing, and I cried my eyes out the whole time I was writing it, and wiping my nose, and blowing my nose, and sitting back down, and Edwards like, You all right? And Im like, Im all right. Kate Bowler:Well, your book has such a wonderful collection of phrases around essays, stuff like Tell me more, and you write about incredible things people can say when theyre figuring out the road ahead. Is this how you would have cared for my son?, and you end up fixating on all of these tiny little things, and at the same time, so overwhelmed by not being sure if its trivial or tragic. Kelly Corrigan:Now maybe Im going to go to Durham, and now maybe Im going to get my PhD in Divinity. Can we trust our gut? Shes not going to hold their babies.. No one understands what makes a character sing better than Michael Lewis. The Big Short, Moneyball, Liars Poker, these stories stand for whole industries because Michael Lewis puts just the right protagonist in the center. Kelly mentions the Potted Plant Theory of Parenting. He is also the father to three great characters, including Dixie, who was killed in a head on collision in May of 2021. Kelly Corrigan:Now maybe Im going to go to Durham, and now maybe Im going to get my PhD in Divinity. Allison Wohl: A Toast Women | Faith & Story Copyright 2023 Apple Inc. All rights reserved. We were living in Damascus, Syria, and whenever one of us asked for something Mom and Dad couldnt afford, Dad would say Allah Kareem. In Arabic, Allah means God. Kate Bowler:I guess Ill see you soon. Its the motto I live by when my opportunities are too big, and my capacity and capabilities too small. Kelly Corrigan Wonders listeners will be familiar with Alexs story as we shared it in the episode A Mother Son Story of the Ultimate Transition and it was also replayed it in the For the Good of the Order feed. Touching on themes like self-belief, resilience, humility, and justice, this series normalizes the human condition and emphasizes our capacity to grow. They reel and wander and fixate and roll back and reconsider, because its like this, having a mind. Kelly Corrigan:Thanks. Its all this cumulative effect of a thousand minuscule moments. We had several hamsters in one cage, and they can be cannibalistic, and one morning a hamster was missing, and another hamster had a suspiciously large tummy. Im so compassionate to that thing that happens every time you tell someone that you had cancer, which is the other person trying to figure out why its not going to happen to them as fast as possible. Hopefully youve continued to connect with Kate and Kellys books. Shes not going to their wedding, shes not going to pick out wedding dresses with them. Is this how you would have cared for my son?, and you end up fixating on all of these tiny little things, and at the same time, so overwhelmed by not being sure if its trivial or tragic. Shes not going to hold their babies.. Dont worry, and she said, Well, my problem is I cant zip my dress by myself, so I thought if it was a woman, I could ask her to come in, and zip my dress, and I thought, Thats the tiny moments that are so gut-wrenching for a new widow. I do need to be reminded of this often There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. Im sorry I didnt go see your mom. Thats not the same as saying I was wrong not to try to know her. I mean, Im totally coming to see you. Kate Bowler:Thanks so much for doing this. Its completely random. Maybe Wills curious phrase, Its like this, applies here too. Yeah. Dalai Lama XIV, Cheryl, I always asked her this when I wondered if I was handsome in any way. PRX Series Kelly Corrigan Wonders Its so that they can identify some critical difference between you and them that makes them feel like they can exhale again. I was wrong. For a special listener who was just diagnosed, here are some thoughts on the stages of recovery that I encourage you to share with every last person you know who is in treatment for anything. Today, I get a chance to talk to Kelly about some of her very best phrases. Click here for discussion questions for this podcast episode. She has been called the voice of her generation and the poet laureate of the ordinary, and she is the most perfect person to talk to to kick us off because her lovely new book is called Tell Me More, and Tell me more is one of those phrases she uses, phrases that she writes about that help guide her through relationships, and parenting, and grief. Kate Bowler:Yeah. Kathy and her husband Tony have three children. Yeah. Kelly Corrigan:Ah, it was so terrible. Kelly Corrigan:You dont always need such a plan, or an agenda, or whatever. Okay, great. Both Kate and Kelly are remarkable women and in tandem they make for great listening. I was wrong not to try to know her, and I could just see it in his face that it was like, Okay, you understand. Gratefully, Just see who you can bump into out there. Its a very learned thing that I have to insert the words into my mouth, and push them out deliberately, because my instinct is to solve. (As consciously lesbian from about four-years old, believe it or not, I preferred handsome to pretty.)
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